13.4: A Guide to Communicating Professionally in Workplace Relationships
Defining Professionalism
For the rest of this chapter, we will discuss how to communicate professionally, as a means for effective interpersonal communication in the workplace. We define professionalism in this context as “conducting oneself with responsibility, integrity, accountability, and excellence. It means communicating effectively and appropriately and always finding a way to be productive” (US Department of Labor, n.d., p. 114). In this section, we will talk about some ways you can maintain professional interpersonal relationships through ethics, respect, language, and personal responsibility.
Ethics
Have you ever lied to your boss about being sick so that you didn’t have to go into work? Has a coworker ever taken your ideas and presented them as their own in a meeting? These are some examples of where interpersonal ethics would come into play at work. And though ethics is a huge topic, we will share some specific ways that you can practice ethical communication within your working relationships.
In an empirical survey analysis, Reinsch asserts that a person’s ethical values, beliefs, and behavior may be associated with variables such as gender, age, and perceptions (Reinsch, 1990, as cited in An Introduction to Organizational Communication, n.d.). So, how do we see ethical interpersonal communication showing up at work? The “father” of organizational communication, W. Charles Redding (1996), has prototypes for common behaviors that people frequently view as unethical. We have compiled some of these common behaviors into Table 13.4.1
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| Type of Behavior | Characteristics |
|---|---|
| Coercive |
|
| Destructive |
|
| Deceptive |
|
| Intrusive |
|
| Secretive |
|
| Manipulative/Exploitive |
|
Source: By Alex Mata, licensed as CC-BY 4.0. Adapted from W. Charles Redding’s typology of unethical behaviors (1996).
To implore ethical communication strategies at work, we would not only want to avoid the unethical behaviors listed in 12.4.1, but recognize and address them if used by others. Maintaining a high ethical standard communicates professionalism. Additionally, setting boundaries that ensure others treat you ethically can help you maintain healthy and respectful interpersonal relationships with your colleagues.
Showing Respect
When you hear the word respect does Aretha Franklin’s song ring in your ears? Perhaps you remember an exasperated parent saying, “You don’t have to love my rules, but you do have to respect them.” Interestingly, if you search the Cambridge Dictionary, you will find several definitions for the word respect. For the purposes of this section, we will use the following: “to accept the importance of someone’s rights or customs and to do nothing that would harm them or cause offense” (Cambridge University Press, n.d.). Now, because the concept of respect casts such a wide net, we will cover some general principles for respect, as well as some very general behaviors you can implement when communicating with those at work.
In his award-winning book, The Speed of Trust, Stephen M. R. Covey (2008) identifies showing respect for others as a core behavior for building trust in workplace relationships. What is so impactful about his outlook on respect is that it stems from genuine care for others in the form of love, fairness, kindness, and civility for all, even if that person can do nothing for you in return, and even if the act of respect is small, like genuinely giving a compliment to a colleague (Covey, 2008).
Using Language Appropriately
As you may recall from Chapter 4, symbols are arbitrary representations of thoughts, ideas, emotions, objects, or actions used to encode and decode meaning (Nelson & Shaw, 2002). The language you use at work can be a reflection of who you are, and how you feel about others—and it can make lasting impressions on those you communicate with. In the workplace, our language can reflect professionalism if we use it appropriately. As we look at the use of language in workplace relationships, we will focus on informal versus formal language and avoiding sexist or biased language.
Informal versus Formal Language
Have you ever received an email without a subject, full of spelling and grammatical errors, and packed with run-on sentences? If so, you may have made a judgment call about the sender. What if you overheard cursing, or someone in the break room recounting a wild weekend? Although you may communicate this way with your friends, hearing it at work might catch your attention in an unfavorable way. Knowing how to formally communicate with colleagues and management is beneficial to your career, as it clearly defines and establishes authority, improves overall efficiency, reduces the likelihood of mistakes and errors, and tends to be more credible when sending important messages (Birt, 2021). Although informal language absolutely has its advantages in particular contexts, formal language is often a safer bet when communicating via email, in meetings, and in our workspaces.
| Characteristics | Example of Informal Language | Example of Formal Language |
|---|---|---|
| Slang/colloquialisms | “The new HR system is not going to fly at this time, so we are putting it on the back burner.” | “The new HR system is not up to par with industry standards at this time. Therefore, we will have to wait a bit longer to use it.” |
| First-person pronouns | “I worked this chart for my records and then I shared it with my team.” | “After this chart was modified and uploaded to the server, it was shared in an email with the Sales Team.” |
| Contractions | “I won’t be on our Zoom call because I can’t get out of a previous scheduled meeting.” | “I will not be able to attend our scheduled Zoom call because I am unable to get out of another meeting.” |
Source: By Alex Mata, licensed as CC-BY 4.0
Sexist or Biased Language
In addition to using formal language, you can communicate professionalism at work by avoiding sexist or biased language. Though much work has been done to reduce the use of once-common terms that communicated things like sexism, racism, and ageism, we still hear colloquialisms like businessman, handicapped, cake walk, and manpower. (Review Section 8.2: Confirming and Disconfirming Climates for a discussion of people-first language.) To maintain a sense of professionalism at work, it is important to examine our language and ensure that we do not offend others or show bias. Though we all have work to do, being aware and actively trying to get better is of great value to your workplace.
Personal Responsibility
Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes—and the sooner we can all admit to those mistakes, the easier it might be for us to move forward after mistakes happen. Additionally, showing grace is a great way to build an interpersonal relationship. Stephen M. R. Covey (2008) explains two behaviors that can help build trust: practicing accountability and righting wrongs. Essentially, to build and maintain healthy relationships, you take responsibility for your mistakes, you don’t point fingers or try to blame others, you apologize quickly, and you make restitution whenever possible.
There are many ways to take personal responsibility, but to help give us some context about how to get started here are some suggestions.
| Step | Examples |
|---|---|
| Acknowledge | You make your own choices and take your own actions
Your feelings are yours, nobody else’s Your behaviors at work are your responsibility |
| Accept | You cannot control how others respond to you, only how you respond
Others may not see things the way you do You may never get the answer or response you hope for |
| Decide | Where to invest your time and energy
When to respond How you want to show up at work |
Table 13.4.3 by Alex Mata is licensed as CC-BY 4.0. adapted from Stephen M. R. Covey (2008).
Related to taking responsibility is making excuses. According to Amy Nordrum (2014) in a Psychology Today article, making excuses after making a mistake is common, but not always well-received. However, she notes that in some cases, making excuses—if done correctly—can help convey empathy and show your colleagues that you are listening to their concerns (Nordrum, 2014). She developed the ERROR method as a guide to formulating excuses.
Empathy: “I can see how that would have been bothersome and I would have felt the same way.”
Responsibility: “I did say that and I apologize for the impact it had on you.”
Reason: “I wrote this quickly and should have taken the time to review it’s potential impact.”
Offer Reassurance: “I will work to be better.”